I’ve been really struggling to find an even keel mood-wise lately. I think it’s partly due to menopausal hormones and the natural process of dealing with those challenges, but perhaps it’s also a less welcome side effect of the Ferinject treatment that I actually have the energy to get furiously angry.
One of my biggest bugbears in life is the noise my immediate neighbours make and this has become a focus for my rage. When I’m writing or doing some other creative activity I like to do it in quiet surroundings. Pretty much every hour of my day is punctuated with bouts of crying, shrieking or shouting and, since you can’t go round and ask people to turn down the volume on their baby or toddler, it’s been driving me nuts.
Feeling that I’m (over)reacting like a crazy person doesn’t help my mood either and the physical effects of feeling venomously angry without an outlet for it are exhausting. I’ve tried various ways of blocking or masking the noise, but nothing has been really effective until I realised that the fan heater I usually only use at night does the trick.
The downside of running the heater for more than the few minutes it takes to make an early-hours cuppa is that my eyes get very dry. But at least I can THINK and string a few sentences together, so I just need to remember to bung in some eyedrops occasionally and be grateful. I hope the fan heater will give me enough respite to calm down and deal with the “normal” emotional changes of menopause more rationally. And to get on with writing the memoir I’ve been wittering on about for years…