Moving on

Last week was difficult. I felt ill a lot and I didn’t handle it very well emotionally. Rationally I knew it was just a set-back, but I was disappointed (and angry) to have to deal with it so soon after starting to tell people that I was feeling better.

It’s tempting to see a cause and effect – that as soon as I said I’m starting to trust my improved health, it failed me again. It’s also tempting to try and analyse why I felt so rough and what I should have done to prevent a) the set-back and b) the emotional meltdown.

But I’m resisting the temptation to brood on what’s done and gone. I’ve noted a few points to bear in mind, but basically I feel OK today so it’s onwards and upwards. Or, in the case of my weight, onwards and downwards before my trousers become unbearably tight!

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2 Responses to Moving on

  1. I know for me the emotional breakdown is usually due to unmet high expectations, and feeling exhausted/in pain. I suspect with these sort of chronic illnesses, we need to still keep taking small steps even when we feel a lot better, but when we feel a lot better, it is more difficult to be realistic about how small the step should be. Monitoring progress and setbacks is a way to develop an understanding of where the tipping point is, and it needs to be done with compassion, but maybe it is also easier to do once we’ve got over the frustration of the setback.

    I had a really good day yesterday despite pain, and felt v good last night after a massage and bath. I had high hopes for a really productive day today, as Bobby is at the sitters, but I’m sitting here noticing that I already feel quite tired and deliberating how to respond to this. Sometimes the process of monitoring and adjusting is exhausting in itself!

    Hope you’re having a better day.

  2. Tamara Epps says:

    You have pretty much summed up how I have been feeling the last couple of weeks. I am beginning to feel I’m returning a little to how I was before Christmas (though I’m needing to rest and sleep a lot more than I was), and I hope the same is soon true for you too. Keep believing in yourself, and get plenty of rest.

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