Harvesting

I’m struggling to string words together lately. I’m still not sleeping well, due to a combination of the hot weather and my menopausal over-heatedness. Most nights I wake four or five times and get up at least twice to pee. It’s not conducive to sharp thinking.

Between prolonged rests I’m harvesting blackberries and raspberries to freeze for winter treats, gathering seed for next year’s flower garden and thinking about buying bulbs for autumn planting. I’m not achieving very much on a creative level, though I have a lot of ideas and jot them down on random bits of paper. Maybe some of them will come to fruition.

I’m trying to enjoy the changing of the season from summer to autumn with as many senses as possible. The visual pleasure of mellower light and rich sunsets, the scent of dewy mornings, and the taste of freshly gathered fruit. As I write, cool air from the open back door feels good on my bare arms and feet.

This has always been a favourite time of year, but as I age perhaps it has an even deeper resonance within my psyche that I can’t quite put into words. Being tired slows me down and gives me time to pay closer attention to things which normally pass by unheeded. Another kind of harvesting perhaps?

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4 Responses to Harvesting

  1. I like the comparison at the end. I’m coming to think that I used up most of my lifetime’s allotment of energy and ability to cope with stress by my mid-30s. So it is like I am in a permanent state of twilight autumnal years at the age of 40. And as you say, having to move more slowly gives more opportunities for noticing and also perhaps to do/be things that are really me, harvesting those dreams that I felt were not responsible enough, but which are the essence of who I am.

    • Thanks Alison, I’m glad to know that my words have resonated with you. I can certainly relate to the idea of using up all my nervous energy to keep going when I was younger. Lots more food for thought on the subjects of autumn and harvesting methinks 🙂 .

      • Just read your last three posts (yeah, my email is still winning. I need to unsubscribe ruthlessly. Again.) Not sure where to start with my replies…you’ve resonated with me in multiple ways too. Alison your comment about having already used up your allotted share of energy to keep going when younger speaks loudly to me too – I’ve often thought that.
        – (A Jeremy Hardy gig i saw way back when, he suggested that perhaps you only got a finite number of something (sex) and that as you used most of them up in your youth thats why you had to ration them as you got older. Well, heh, I’ve got loads saved up of them – can I swap/trade them for energy do you think?! ;))
        I’m having big probs with my word finding/speech etc too and it seems I’ve used up my current allocation. *sigh* be back later with a little more (i hope) X
        Perhaps delving into a past memory used up too much brain power…? Sheesh.

      • Thanks for reading Sand – I definitely did my life’s allocation of drinking alcohol between the ages of 18 and 35! The idea of a finite allocation of everything in life is a consoling thought in some ways, but could also be a bit limiting. I’m not bothered about never having another G&T and I’d be more than happy to get to the end of my lifetime’s supply of anxiety, but like you I hope I’ve got some goodies saved up for the future. In fact, now I think about it, I’ve hardly used some things… 😆

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