I think the Operation New Life is actually going reasonably well, but I’ve hit a bit of a wall this week. I’ve little patience really for long-term strategies – I’m a hare by nature and I like quick results. This was a useful trait in my career, as my ability to think fast and complete tasks quickly gave me an edge. I was fortunate that the nature of my work suited my personality. Unfortunately, it probably also contributed to the collapse of my health as I gradually burnt out.
You live and learn, but it’s hard to change a fundamental personality trait no matter how much to your benefit it would be to do so. And here I am, only a few weeks in to my new strategy, with a tiny bit more energy at my disposal, straining at the leash to Get On With Interesting Things. And risking setting myself back. Again.
To redress the balance and take my mind off all the (as yet) undone things, here’s quick look at what I’ve achieved over the last month or so in terms of changing my lifestyle strategy. I have:
- meditated about 3 mornings a week on average – a big increase on none!
- created a weekly plan of tasks and activities including two Days Off as a broad-brush pacing strategy.
- enlisted the help of friends in reducing some of my commitments. Thank you to everyone who has kindly agreed to keep in touch via media other than email.
- cleared the clutter from my working spaces (my desk and the kitchen table) and, more or less, kept them clear.
- improved my diet by resuming a low-carb regime. No noticeable weight loss yet, but my energy levels are slightly improved. I’m less thirsty and peeing less, which means less getting up in the night and somewhat better sleep.
- booked a health check just in case my thirstiness is diabetes rather than “just” an ME/CFS symptom. I’ve always tested negative for diabetes before, but you never know.
- got my admin and the garden to a state where it feels manageable rather than overwhelming.
- set myself goals for posting on my blogs and fulfilled them.
- spent more time with real life friends.
Having freed up a bit of time in which to get excited about life again, I’ve got all fired up about my creative writing and that’s mainly where the conflict is arising between what I can reasonably do each day and what I WANT to do. My new habits (if I can be so bold as to call them that after such a short time) have opened up a bit of space in my life and I’m straining to cram it with activities.
I think I need to practise tortoise-style progress for a while longer before I can be confident of my ability to keep up with the every-day necessities, deal with the occasional emergency AND work on my bigger goals steadily and reliably. All while juggling whatever tiresome and unpredictable demands the ME/CFS chucks my way. So I won’t be finishing my novel in the next fortnight.