I was thinking last night that these days I never really allow myself a day off Doing Things That Have To Be Done unless I’m too ill to do anything at all or so desperate for a break that my mind rebels and I end up frittering time away on trivialities. This doesn’t seem like a good strategy, so I’ve decide to have two designated days off every week. Probably Thursday and Sunday.
In the longer term I aim to make Thursday a day for going out somewhere purely for pleasure. Sunday will be for loafing about at home after an early morning walk on the beach or the Downs. It’ll probably take a while before I feel able to fully commit to TWO “non-working” days a week and if I’m ill on a day off I’ll have to spend the time recuperating, but the intention is there.
As much as anything it’s about changing my mindset from guilt about being ill to compassion for myself. Not having a job makes me feel I haven’t earnt any entitlement to rest and enjoyment. Which means I’m buying into the idea that I deserve to be punished for failing to be less than perfect.