Faltering resolve

Today’s the kind of day when I wish I hadn’t committed to writing something here every day for a month. But I did and it’s my choice whether to do it or not. If this is to be a year of changing my life, then I’d like to start with a success, no matter how small, so here I am.

I slept better than usual last night – no getting up for the loo or nasty dreams. My dreams were in fact cheeringly pleasant and I woke feeling relaxed. But not refreshed – my brain is like porridge and my energy level is very low. I’ve no idea why, but that’s ME/CFS for you – entirely unfuckingpredictable.

It’s in my mind that if I’m to measure my progress over the next twelve months I ought to record where I’m starting from and formulate some goals. That’s something to think about while I lie on my bed and enjoy the luxury of my neighbourhood being blessedly quiet this afternoon. All I can hear is the wind whistling and roaring, leaves rustling and a bit of birdsong.

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2 Responses to Faltering resolve

  1. How did you feel after doing the writing? Did it help you or make you feel you feel worse? If the first, then keeping going seems a good strategy. If the second, then self-compassion and a day off is permissible 🙂

    • I usually feel better mentally once I get going with some writing as it distracts me from how I’m feeling, gives me a sense of achievement etc. But if I’m really low on energy my writing is turgid and the activity fatigues me even more, so it’s better to let it go.

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