Contrary to my hope that I’d be sufficiently recovered to resume my normal life today, I actually feel worse than I did on Monday and Tuesday. This is infuriating! I can tolerate a couple of days of recovery time after overdoing it, but after that it starts to get annoying, then depressing.

I have no idea whether today’s malaise is connected to Sunday’s exertions or simply that I’ve segued into another bout of the bleughs. I slept badly last night, with tiresome dreams and the weather is muggy and migrainous. Perhaps that’s all it took to to make me feel bloated, leaden, queasy, stupid and cross as well as very, very tired.

I’ve been occupying myself listening to The Vanished World by H E Bates on audio book and adding a few things to my fledgling Pinterest account. Later on I think I’ll do some small drawings – sometimes when I’m unwell and my expectations are low I’m surprised and pleased with what I create. If nothing else I feel that my creative work should be allowed to reflect my reality – that I can draw for the sake of drawing, not to produce perfect images.

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2 Responses to Irritable

  1. I’ve decided to give up on perfection in creativity (and myself). At the weekend I realised that I don’t even really want to do any drawing or painting classes, as I thought, because frankly I don’t want to spend energy on learning technique, I want to play with what comes from inside. I’ve decided that being present to myself is enough.

    Oh, and I’ve noticed I start to get really low after a few days proper rest. Bizarrely I then usually find the next day I feel a lot better all round. Haven’t quite figured that one out.

    • I too have given up on classes – the effort required to attend regularly takes too much out of me. I had to give up the last class I attempted after two sessions, but it was worth going because it made me realise that I do know how to draw. What was holding me back was perfectionism and lack of practise – I’m working on killing the former by doing the latter!

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